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Thursday, July 31, 2008

brand new start

www.xanga.com/sporadic_erratic_love

 

my new site.

=]


Tuesday, November 27, 2007

I Know I Know I Know

I haven't posted in forever.

sorry.

I won't probably be updating very much anymore, but I just need somewhere to write today.

Hours slide and days go by
Till you decide to come
But in-between it always seems too long
Suddenly
But I have the skill, yeah
I have the will, to breath you in while I can
However long you stay is all that I am

I dont mind, I dont care
As long as you're here


Go ahead and tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
And do it all over again
It's always the same

-The Sick Puppies, "All the Same"

 

Finally, he's talking to me again, for the first time in a few weeks. There's always periods like this where he doesn't talk to me, a few days, a few weeks... and then all of the sudden were buddies, just like old times.

 

Do I ever get tired of being ignored and then suddenly talked to? No. I see him struggling, trying to find somewhere to belong. I just want him to know I will be here if he ever needs me.

 

He asked me where I was Sunday. You don't ask where some was unless you notice they were gone,

right?

 

No one knows this, but I do miss him.

More than anything sometimes.

Sometimes I do cry.

I'm not a stoic figure in the background;

 

I think maybe I loved him, a little.


Thursday, October 25, 2007

Super Duper

Mega

Gigantic

Supersized

Magnificent

Obese

Post

Hooray for 50+ subscribers.

Everything I have laid out before you =]

MAJOR PROPS:

http://www.xanga.com/ShipwreckQUOTES

http://www.xanga.com/PreppyQuotesNicons

http://www.xanga.com/xQUOTEME_BABEx

http://www.deviantart.com

 

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sleepless summer nights

your last words to me,

are on constant replay in my head.

why do i always  hope, wish

& dream for the chance to

say the things i never said,

tell you how i really feel about you. 

look right past me,

act like we are strangers.

i don't care about it anymore.

just as long as you don't

come crawling back to me

when you're all lonely.

 

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wild & free is her motto,

& her dress code is jeans & tee's.

she's a modern wonder woman,

& she didn't need a guy to get there

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you used to laugh about the damage done,
but there was no way to know how little
distance you had actually come,
and how far you'd have to go.


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jump in my car. we'll go 100 round the bends,
and we'll pretend that feeling rage is feeling real;
that feeling is feeling real.


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the summer breeze brings cold air
i wish you were here, not out there
although im happy with how things are
i wish you wouldn't of gone so far


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A lonely smile, a cold heart.
Wishing she could go back to the start.
She was young, so carefree.
Who knew love had no safety?


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Her heartbeat speeds, her palms sweat.
She hasn't gotten what she's wanted yet.
Still holding on, still staying strong,
She didn't think it would last so long

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The sky's a deep blue, and here you are
under the clouds, a shooting star.
Close your eyes and take my hand,
we can melt down in the sand.
I'll wish for you, you'll wish for me.
In love forever, is what we'll be.


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Something's terribly wrong,
Your words remind me why.
You couldn't make this easy,
Hello sounds like goodbye.


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I love you so much, it hurts to breathe.
My heart is full, but you're out of reach.
My tears are there, but they won't fall.
I won't give up, you're worth it all.


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If you cared,
If you tried,
I would come back
to your side.

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I'm telling you this because you didn't ask.

I've got it all here, growing like a tumor in my throat.

I'm telling you because if I don't, I will choke on it.

Everybody knows what happened but nobody asks.

 

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I walk into a room, and if you're there,
I can't help it, I just stare.
You made such an impact, had such a way,
Even when you started to drift away.

 

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I dont like to blend in with the crowd

I dont like to be quiet

I like it loud; I'm spontaneous,

delirious && all between

[live] like theres no tomorrow

Know what i mean?

 
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i know ; we're complete strangers now.

we both pretend like we don't care,

but i can feel the tension as much as you can.

i know how to hide my feelings from your piercing stare

& no matter what you think, i still miss you.

 

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in the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies,

but the silence of our friends. i remember how we'd fight,

we'd make up and laugh all night.

& i just wanted to say what i don't tell you enough:

even though at times it seemed we

were more like enemies,

i'd do it all again my sister, my friend <3

 
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dry your eyes, clear your mind.

you just gotta take it one day at a time.

dust off your heart, take it off the shelf.

you got to remember to love yourself.

 
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"Go ahead say it: you're leaving.

You'll just come back running,

Holding your scarred heart in hand.

It's all the same.

& I'll take you for who you are

If you'll take me for everthing.

It's all the same."

-Sick Puppies

 
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i don't wanna fall for him again.

i don't think I can take the pain.

i don't wanna have these feelings

if he doesn't feel the same.

i don't want my heart to jump,

when i haven't seen him in awhile.

i don't wanna see him grin,

if i'm not the one making him smile.

i don't wanna reach out,

every time i see his hand.

i don't wanna try to explain

if he'll never understand.

i don't want tears in my eyes

every time i see his face.

i don't want my heart to be empty,

if he's the only one that can fill the space.

i don't wanna have to smile at him,

when i really wanna cry.

i don't want him to wave hello,

if he really means goodbye.

i don't wanna get played,

as a result of his little game.

i want to be done

and not have to miss him all the time

 
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I don't know why we all hang onto
something we know we're better off
letting go.
It's like we're scared to lose what we don't even really
have.
Some
of us say we'd rather have that
something
than nothing at all, but the truth is...
to have it halfway is harder than not having it at all.

 

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Because that is what happens

When you try to run from the past.

It doesn't just catch up: it overtakes,

Blotting out the future, the landscape, the very sky,

Until there is no path left

Except that which leads through it,

The only one that can ever get you home.


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"I'm not going anywhere.

This is it for me. You're it for me.

& I can't pretend to feel any less than I do.

I'm sorry. I can't."
- Gilmore girls


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Favorites:

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& she left him,

just standing there,

wanting so much more.

but she only laughed

& said with one final goodbye

"funny, i think i've heard

that story before."

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You walk around like you're okay.
Maybe you're not, at least not today.
The sun's not shining, but there's no rain.
The feeling of missing you is driving me insane
 
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My final try for romance,
you're grasping my last breath.
I can't scream,
I had my chance
 
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When you act like nothing ever happened

I feel like I should feel bad.

But I can't like someone who thought

They're the only one that mattered

I hope that you're flattered.

Cause you broke this down.

The best thing that you never had.

 
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You opened a door I thought I had locked a long time ago.

You consume my every thought, word, and whisper.

Every time our eyes met—they spoke a language

Only the two of us could construe.

When we meet again—I will leave no space

For the time we’ve been apart.

I can only hope my feelings for you

Have made their way to you…

In the form of dreams.

-Marcus Motion


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Hope you guys enjoyed that.
 
<3
 


Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Currently Listening
Riot!
By Paramore
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Vent.

Read if you want... otherwise just scroll down to quotes & pix.

So this guy in my section in marching band [senior] comes up to me after practice today & just like puts his arm around me.. so I'm like ok?? But he's just like that, you know, so w/e... and he's like why ru so introverted? I'm like uh... cause I'm not really shy, I just don't talk to him a lot. & he kinda pulled me closer.. I'm like wut ru doing?? & he's like we're "bonding..." okayy? & then he's like do you like girls or boys? I'm like BOYS. Like DUH. & he's like "whooah! big shocker there" like not sarcastic or anything. That son of a batch of cookies. So glad he's leaving after this year...

& on a better note... I think I'm beginning to like one of my guy friends. Just a little. I've known him since like 1st grade & we used to fight like all the time, but now... I sat with him & some other people last night at the football game & we just talked a lot & well, yeah.

No matter what though, my old crush always seems to be on my mind. I really, really, really, don't like him now, though. He's changed so much--trying to be all cool & stuff now. But you can tell he's uncomfortable with those kind of people & I really don't give a crap. But.. idk. I've been SO mad at him for so long, but in all honesty, I think that's just because I don't want to fall for him again & get hurt. He left me so heartbroken I can hardly stand to talk to him anymore.

Remember me once in a while
Promise me;
You'll try.

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life?

-A Fine Frenzy, “Almost Lover”

 

 
 
Built a wall around my heart
I’ll never let it fall apart
But strangely I wish secretly
It would fall down while I'm asleep
-Maroon 5, “Nothing Lasts Forever
 
 
Bleh. Crap entry. Sorry. Except for the pics =]
2 more subscribers & you get a superduper entry.
 
Love you girls.
xoxo


Sunday, October 21, 2007

Currently Reading
The Geography of Girlhood
By Kirsten Smith
see related

New Song.


New Layout.

Some things I'll never know
And I had to let them go
I'm sitting all alone feeling empty
I can feel the pressure
It's getting closer now
We're better off without you

-Paramore, "Pressure"

So I updated the site a little bit. Do you guys like it? Anyone know any good sites for lyts? I've decided if I get 50 subscribers I am going to do a MEGA-UPDATE. So, that would be pretty awesome if you guys subscribed. Only 5 more! & now onto the update...

A laundry list of problems
Doesn't make you interesting.
And never getting help,
Doesn't make you brave.
Not listening to reason
Doesn't mean that you have faith.

Goodbye, sweetheart
Countdown started.
Words are heavy,
But I'm far from broken hearted

A long December and there's reason to believe

That maybe this year will be better than the last.

I can't remember the last thing that you said as you were leaving.

And now the days go by so fast.

I can't remember all the times

I tried to tell myself to

hold on to these moments as they pass

if your spirit's broken and you can't
bear the pain; i will help you put the
piece back a little more each day.
and if your heart is locked and you
can't find the key; lay your head upon
my shoulder; i'll set you free.

i'll be your security.

 

 



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